John, a widower, is a retired engineer aged in his 90s. He lives alone in the family home and has struggled with loneliness and depression since his wife passed away. He feels frustrated that as he gets older he can no longer do many of the things he used to enjoy, which exacerbates his sense of feeling alone in the world.
Voters seem to prefer candidates with deeper voices, and researchers suspect our “caveman instincts” could explain why.
La hembra rubia tonta es un elemento básico de las películas de Hollywood, como Reese Witherspoon en "Una rubia muy legal." Amazon vende actualmente muchos libros de chistes que se burlan de percepción de falta de inteligencia rubias '.
Las personas a menudo son perdonados por las acciones que nunca obtener el permiso para que en el primer lugar - un fenómeno descrito como "Ley de Retroaction de Stuart". Los niños que ven la televisión durante más tiempo de lo que se les permite, los adolescentes que fugarse sin decirle a sus padres y adultos que conjunta vacía
El tema del narcisismo ha intrigado a la gente durante siglos, pero los científicos sociales ahora afirmar que se ha convertido en una "epidemia" moderna. Entonces, ¿qué es esto, lo que ha llevado a su aumento, y es que hay algo que podamos hacer al respecto?
Todos hemos experimentado esos momentos en los que hemos estado trabajando muy duro en una tarea, finalmente, terminar y se siente como un descanso bien merecido por lo que tomar un café y relajarse durante unos momentos. ¿Qué pasa por su mente la próxima?
Smugly looking down from a moral high ground – and secure in the knowledge that we don’t share their character flaw – we often dismiss those who are obsessed with the doings of others as shallow.
In recent decades, the popularity of self-help has made the discovery of life purpose part of our lexicon but also an inadvertent cause of pain. If no clear answer arises for the seeker, suffering sets in. People think they are flawed if no cosmic assignment is relegated to them.
We tend to take life seriously… all the problems, challenges, crises… all of these seem to be like life and death situations, and in some cases they are. Yet as Shakespeare told us years ago, all the world is a stage, and we are all players or actors upon this earth.
Could it finally be time in the evolution of humanity to revisit our belief in the value of suffering? Many religions and belief systems accept suffering as an inescapable reality, and even glorify it. Christians stoically sing of bearing the old rugged cross. Hindus justify poverty and disease as the paying off of karma...
Vivimos en una época de la psicología positiva, donde el camino a la felicidad es aparentemente pavimentado con los pensamientos correctos. En su forma más extraña, esto se manifiesta en la popularidad de los vendedores de aceite de serpiente como Deepak Chopra, que - por una tarifa sana - le conceda la eterna juventud, y El Secreto, Que hasta ahora el uso de las leyes de la física desconocidos le traerá salud, riqueza y felicidad.
“What was going on? What do you want?” She looked up at me and wailed, “I just want to be happy.” Don’t we all? No matter who we are or what our circumstances, isn’t that what we each long for? Happiness, the experience of the sheer joy of being alive.
Only in my life’s rear-view mirror do I see that I began to write “The Un-Game” long ago. As a cross-culturally naïve eleven-year-old, my world was rocked upon my arrival in New York City with my immigrant family. The assault on my German mind-set felt like an earthquake snatching away all my precious, unquestioned certainty.
Mahatma Mohandas Gandhi once advised, “We must become the change we want to see in the world.” Perhaps if we were each to expand forgiveness, gratitude, and love in our own lives, the collective influence of our healthy, loving relationships would reverberate across our generations and into the future.
Most of us walk around with heads busy as beehives, aware of some thoughts as they come and go but not fully aware of the buzz of mental activity just beneath the surface. Every once in a while, it’s a good idea to stop and ask yourself, What was I thinking?
Experiments dating back to the 1960s show people have less of a reaction to viewing an unpleasant image or experiencing an electric shock when they know it’s coming than when they’re not expecting it. That’s because uncertainty, a long-known cause of anxiety, makes it difficult to prepare for events or to control them.
Many of you have your crown chakra and third eye open and connected to very high vibrational states and yet the heart remains broken, hurt, or only conditionally opened. It is of utmost importance to have a balanced opening and clearing of all your chakras. The more efficiently you heal your unresolved aspects of self...
Stoicism promised that a good life is available to us even in the face of overwhelming circumstances, which might partly explain its attractiveness to even the mighty emperor of the most powerful empire of its time. Central to this life, according to the Stoics, is a certain set of cognitive approaches to what goes on in the world around us.
"Claustrofobia" generalmente se describe como un miedo irracional a los espacios confinados, y se ha estimado a afectar a algunos 5-7% de la población mundial. Es evidente que algunas personas son más angustiados que otros cuando están en espacios reducidos, pero el miedo a la restricción física es tan normal que parece lógico que no se
"La vida es una serie de adicciones y sin ellos no muere". Este es mi cita favorita en la literatura académica y la adicción se hizo de nuevo en 1990 en el British Journal of Addiction por Isaac Marks. Se hizo esta declaración deliberadamente provocador y controvertido para estimular el debate sobre si las actividades excesivas y potencialmente problemáticos, como el juego, el sexo y el trabajo realmente puede
He sido un ávido caminante toda mi vida. Desde la primera vez que atado en una mochila y se dirigió a las montañas de Sierra Nevada, me enganché a la experiencia, amando la manera en que está en naturaleza debitado de mi mente y me ayudó a sentirse más a tierra y pacífico.
¿Tiene un enfrentamiento diario con el monstruo de las galletas personal? ¿O tu demonio alimentos prefieren el crujido de papas fritas o pretzels? Si usted es como la mayoría de la gente, te has convertido en el más débil en esta guerra interna.
Lo que hace que la moralidad humana única? Una respuesta importante es que nos importa cuando otras personas se vean perjudicados. Mientras que muchos animales se vengan cuando maltratados directamente, los seres humanos también se indignan al transgresiones contra otros. Y este atropello nos impulsa a protestar contra la injusticia, las empresas de boicot, silbatos soplado ...
Muchas veces, después de escuchar la difícil situación de un cliente, les pregunta: "Lo que es realmente cierto para usted acerca de esto?" O "¿Qué sabes cuando te sientes bien?" La mayoría de las veces, la respuesta viene a borbotones de su boca antes de las dudas y los "debería" tomar el relevo.
Nuestros cerebros están diseñados para prestar más atención a las cosas que antes nos han traído placer, un sesgo que puede explicar por qué es tan difícil de romper los malos hábitos o se adhieren a los propósitos de Año Nuevo.
Uso problemático de Internet ahora se considera que es una adicción conductual con características que son similares a los trastornos por uso de sustancias. Los individuos con PIU pueden tener dificultades para reducir su uso de Internet, puede estar preocupado con Internet
Junto con casi todos los demás aspectos de las diferencias reales o imaginarios entre los sexos, la idea de que su sexo biológico determinará el sexo de su cerebro - y por lo que su comportamiento, aptitudes y personalidad - tiene una larga y ...
Sweet Sara. That’s what people always used to call me. It didn’t matter where I went in the world — whether it was to visit a cousin in the Midwest, have tea with a girlfriend in Bangkok, or read a piece of fan mail from someone I’d never met before. Everyone I knew at some point arrived at “Sweet Sara” as my nickname.
Why do we drink alcohol? And what would make us do less of it? The government has its own answers – on January 8, the chief medical officer for England, Dame Sally Davies, announced the new government alcohol guidelines. There is now no “safe” drinking level, and the recommended lower-risk maximum per week has been reduced to 14 units, for both men and women.
Research has shown that about half of all adults make New Year’s resolutions. However, fewer than 10% manage to keep them for more than a few months.
New Year’s resolutions are set with the best of intentions. But they notoriously fail to translate into lasting behavioural changes.
Humankind is fit only to be exterminated – that might sometimes seem like the only answer to our ever-growing population, environmental degradation and the human threat to biodiversity. But if you accept it’s impossible to reconcile this with any meaningful morality, we need a new approach to how we conduct ourselves.
It's obvious that the holiday season is upon us. The idea is to thrive and enjoy during this time rather than just survive. Give yourself two great gifts for the next weeks - a lack of stress and actually celebrating the true spirit of this time of year – joy, love, and peace.
As we get older our physical and mental abilities decline, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Research suggests that the way we live our lives - our diets, our exercise regimes - can have a big impact on how we age. And it’s not just about the things we do to age well, it’s also about the things we avoid.
Anyone with siblings knows they can differ from us in maddening ways. They share our parents and our family history, but their personalities can be so different. Birth order offers an intuitively appealing explanation for these perplexing differences.
El olor de la canela flota por el aire. Mi guardia está baja; la resistencia es inútil. Como un zombi, ruedo mi equipaje a través del patio de comidas aeropuerto y hacer cola para pagar demasiado por lo que yo no quiero ni, una dieta Cinnabon-matanza.
Recent media reports have raised questions over the therapy undergone by several people making allegations of historical sexual abuse against prominent public figures. In particular, it has been suggested that certain forms of therapy run a high risk of unintentionally generating false memories of sexual abuse.
The best advice I’ve ever heard is what I will tell you right now: When something in your life goes wrong, look for the lesson that you can learn from this event. Somewhere there is energy that is trying to teach you something.
Can something as simple as watching movies—and empathizing with fictional characters—help generate more compassion and understanding in the real world?
The history of our species is brutal, tragic in the cruelty we have afflicted upon one another, upon other species, and upon Earth herself. Our situation has come to a critical stage. Are there some heretofore hidden processes in us that we could activate, some homeopathic remedies for our violence that could stimulate more empathy, connectedness, and love?
Do you regret choices you’ve made, opportunities you think you’ve lost, time you see as wasted? If you’re vigorously shaking your head up and down, please stop and listen a moment. You’re succumbing to self-condemnation. When we do, we cultivate a downward-spiraling sense of self-worth...
For many, the first sign of difficulties can be enough for them to become discouraged and stop doing what they intended, while others find the determination to discover another way to prevail. Rather than giving up, they look for the opportunity dentro de the challenge—and it’s there, always.
No one does this conscious-living thing perfectly, so the idea isn’t to always be grounded in the present, but to be there as often as possible, certainly more often than not; know when you’re slipping out of it; and be able to bring yourself back as quickly as possible.
When children expect aggression from others, it may cause them to be overly aggressive themselves, a new study finds. While the pattern is more common in some cultures than others, a four-year longitudinal study involving 1,299 children and their parents finds it is true in 12 different cultural groups from nine countries around the globe.
Think of the last time you ate some chocolate. Did you feel you had to sneak it? Did you eat too much and regret it afterward? Did you hog down the lot of the precious morsels? And how did you feel after your escapade? Were you able to enjoy the chocolate fully? I certainly hope so!
A common experience: you are walking down the street and someone is walking in the opposite direction toward you. You see him but he does not see you. He is texting or looking at his cellphone. He is distracted, trying to do two things at the same time, walking and communicating.
We do not teach people how to fail in our education system. The purpose of exams is to get questions correct. The people who are rewarded in school are the ones who get the best grades, not the ones who take the biggest risks or the ones who learn from their mistakes.
It’s said that success has many fathers, while failure is an orphan. In the modern world of business, that’s not quite true. Increasingly, when things go wrong, CEOs depart, with failure’s paternity quickly ascribed to the boss in the big office.
Your brain does a lot when you are asleep. It’s when you consolidate memories and integrate the things you’ve learned during the day into your existing knowledge structure. We now have lots of evidence that while you are sleeping, specific memories can be reactivated and thus strengthened.
Imagine you just received a great bit of news at work – a promotion, pay rise, new car, an acceptance letter from the top journal in your field. If you are like me, you would probably like to open your door or pick up your phone and share your happiness with co-workers and friends. But research that colleagues and I have recently carried out suggested you should think twice.
The more committed we are to achieving a goal—catching a train, buying a movie ticket, getting groceries—the more likely we are to assume others have exactly the same objective. The new study by New York University psychology researcher Janet Ahn points to the types of assumptions we make about others’ behavior, which may have an impact on social interaction.
A simple experiment with a small group of college students suggests that punishments influence behavior more than rewards. In fact, punishments—in this case, losing money tokens—had a measured impact two to three times great than winning money. The results appear in the journal Cognición.
Life teaches us that we cannot be released from powerful, stressful emotions by resisting, ignoring, or repressing them – no matter how hard we try. In fact, life teaches us just the opposite. We learn from experience that resisting, repressing and ignoring unpleasant emotions just tend to make things worse.
I have been playing for around twelve years now, and I still take lessons. The best lessons I have are the ones in which I leave feeling like I don’t really know anything about playing at all. During those lessons, my teacher has identified yet another weakness in my playing. I have to learn new skills to overcome those weaknesses to get better.
“Deviant individuals can exist in almost every society, even in the most strict and ruthless ones such as Nazi Germany. These deviant group members serve as an opposition to the opinions of the majority and can also differ from the majority in their emotional experience.”
Billions of people enjoy music; many feel that they can’t live without it. Why? It’s a question that has puzzled scientists and philosophers for centuries. 2,400 years ago Aristotle wondered, “Why does music, being just sounds, remind us of the states of our soul?”
In order to change any of the beliefs that are holding you back from creating the life you want, it’s important to understand how they were formed and what got you to this point. For many years behavioral scientists have studied human infants to determine what their experience is and how they develop.
In the Book of Genesis we are told that “a deep sleep fell over Adam,” but nowhere in the Bible does it say that he woke up. We are all Adam, still immersed in the dream of limitation. We have become sleepwalkers, trudging through our days wondering who we are and why we are here.
“I will definitely give up smoking – that’s my New Year’s resolution,” she stated emphatically as she thumped her fist on the table to underline her determination. “All very well”, I thought, as I sat opposite her in my medical consulting room in October.
In 1993, Conari Press published a book called Random Acts of Kindness. This book started a movement of people looking for ways to be kind to complete strangers. It was not at all unusual to see a bumper sticker on the car in front of you that read, “Practice Random Acts of Kindness.”
Así que muchas mujeres todavía tienen miedo de ser llamado enojado, todavía tiene miedo de ser dueño de su propio poder, aún de miedo de ser llamado un "perra" o no ser femenina o no ser espiritual. Que en realidad se traduce en tener miedo a decir no a las personas de su entorno que son en realidad pisar sus dedos de los pies!
You’re at the park with the kids. Everyone’s having fun, and then a strange dog appears. There’s no owner around. It’s eyeballing the kids. Immediately your threat system becomes activated.
Most differences between family and friends rarely end in serious squabbles. But let the conversation turn to political parties and lively disagreements can get downright ugly.
When you’re living an aware life, it’s important to avoid black holes that tend to pull you down into a churning mess of negative emotions. It’s very easy in this hectic world to get sucked into a momentum of negativity until that’s all you can focus on.
The manic nature of Viernes Negro has often led shoppers to engage in fistfights and other misbehavior in their desperation to snatch up the last ultra-discounted television, computer or pair of pants.
Este mundo moderno tiene un enfoque general para la ansiedad y el miedo: ignorarlo, evitarlo, o tomar un medicamento para no sentirlo. Estos métodos realmente mantienen el miedo, la ansiedad y el pánico de ir. Estos métodos envían a nosotros mismos el mensaje de que el miedo es demasiado grande para llevarla, y la evitación es ...
Whether you're endlessly agonizing over an issue, it's a tough place to hang out. Maybe this, maybe that. You drive yourself nuts, occupying yourself with your dilemma. You feel incapable of making up your mind and feel confused, stuck, indecisive, or ambivalent.
It’s no secret that people slow down mentally after making a mistake. Monkeys do, too. Neuroscientists call it post-error slowing or PES.
Trusting your soul requires immense courage when you are operating as an ego. That is because the ego takes its job very seriously. It was given the task of keeping the body safe from harm, and it forgot that it was performing this service on behalf of the soul...
We must understand our fears if we really want to move on because that understanding is the prerequisite to self-knowledge, which alone is the only requirement for a harmonious relationship – with ourselves. Constant fear prevents us from living our true purpose. We must learn that fear is the basis of all man’s problems...
For years I understood the concepts of loving more and unconditional acceptance. I knew the woman I wanted to be: more loving, more accepting, more compassionate. But in day-to-day living I struggled with keeping my heart open, especially when I felt afraid. In my quest to soften my heart I noticed a direct correlation between my heart and my judge...
We all know when we are following our passion or our heart’s desire because it feels right. Everyone has experienced this feeling of ‘rightness’ at some time in his/her life. It’s called integrity. And it’s easy to recognize. It’s a sense of real comfort. A feeling that life is good and that life is moving freely in and through you.
When circumstances in our lives are too overwhelming, chaotic, frightening, or out of our control, the best response, based on courageous wisdom, is to release the circumstances. This is not always easy, but it can be done. This exercise will help you give form to your feelings and provide you tools for surrender.
Someone with panic disorder does not know how to turn off the false alarm process once it gets going and must endure a terrifying experience of unknown duration, even if there is nothing apparent to fear. We all take in squintillions of units of information daily. Our brains have to filter data so that we can conduct some what rational lives without being overwhelmed.
Trust. Not trust. Trust. Not trust. The human free will tries to insert its dominion. Trust in a higher power is the most difficult thing to sustain, and the most important thing to sustain. I can’t see angels, but I trust they are there helping me every step of my journey.
My first spiritual teacher told me a phrase that echoed in my head for months; “You don’t know what love is because you’re stuck in your fears. Face your fears and you will begin to know what love feels like.” I sat with these words, realizing how many fears controlled my life and my happiness. I had never realized how afraid I was deep inside...
The concept of surrender is often confused with submission. No matter how you define it, or under what conditions, surrender is a willful, not a passive act. The element of choice in surrender is an important consideration when we are discussing its expression in our lives.
Personalidad, sin duda influye en la experiencia del estrés de las personas. Los que tienen tendencias perfeccionistas obsesivos () y los que tienen una tendencia a poner las necesidades de los demás por delante de sí mismos o buscar la aprobación de los demás (dependiente) son particularmente vulnerables al estrés. Al tener estos rasgos de personalidad no es una mala cosa ...
The Oxford dictionary defines chaos as complete disorder or confusion. In general when we speak of chaos we associate it with a negative state and negative energy. When someone says, “My life is chaotic” or “Chaos is everywhere” we understand that person to mean, “My life is a mess and I am a mess”.
Casi todas las religiones, sistema familiar, y la creencia en la culpa juega para mantener sus adherentes en línea. Sin embargo, hay maneras de escapar de la prisión de la culpa. Éstos son los siete primeros, junto con aplicaciones prácticas para ser libre.
Cuando yo era pequeña, estaba básicamente permitido expresar un sentimiento, y tuve que ir a mi habitación para hacerlo. Cuando salí de mi habitación, me esperaba sentir "mejor", incluso si no lo hacía. El mensaje básico era que los sentimientos debían ser apenas tolerado y mejor guardado oculto.
¿Por qué necesita el perdón para alcanzar su sueño? Cuando usted no está perdonando, estás enojado y apretado. Que está sosteniendo a viejas heridas y abrazando a su rectitud a tu alrededor como una parka contra los vientos del cambio urticantes. Sus brazos están cruzados y su mente está tachando posibilidades. Si se piensa en ello ...
Ending guilt asks only that you accept what is right now, and stop forcing your mind to dredge up and continually relive old wounds, pains, and regrets. Forget the past; it is gone and is therefore unreal. Healing can only occur by aligning with Reality, which is located in the present.
La línea entre el embarazo "previsto" y "no intencional" puede ser borrosa. Algunos embarazos no deseados pueden dar lugar a nacimientos deseados, y algunos embarazos deseados se abortó. Pero las mujeres no deben ser culpados de quedar embarazada por accidente, debido a factores fuera de su control están a menudo involucrados.
What we’re being called to do as a species before we either destroy ourselves or most of life on our planet is to meet ourselves fully. We must have the courage to meet our own prejudices and encounter every single place within us that would rather resort to blame than to face the collective human pain body.
I closed my eyes, preparing to list off my offenses. Within minutes, I felt complete forgiveness for all my actions! My first thought was, “Wait. This was too easy! I haven’t worked and sweated hard enough to earn complete forgiveness. I haven’t even gone through the whole list.”
“You owe me” is resentment. “I owe you” is guilt. And the longer our interactions go on like this, the more impoverished we become. We lose our balance, the heart is thrown askew. The gut tightens. The eyes cannot open fully. But forgiveness rebalances the mind and brings kindness to the senses.
One morning Rose began our session by saying it was time for me to take a very important journey. “It’s a journey we all must take within this lifetime. It’s the journey that takes us from being a child to becoming an adult. And what you need to make this journey are the powers of love and forgiveness.”
The sentencing of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev for the Boston Marathon bombing and the sad aftermath of Dylann Roof’s racial killings in Charleston, South Carolina have raised the question of forgiveness in an acute fashion.
A fellow set out to find a particular saint who lived in a remote village. The shopkeeper told him he would find the saint under a certain tree, teaching disciples. Excited, the seeker made his way to tree, but instead of finding the saint he saw a drunkard blabbing with a couple of guys.
When we cut through the smoke and mirrors of guilt, we can see that the thoughts and emotions that ignite guilt are all made up. When our self-awareness “muscles” strengthen, we find that we’re less apt to fall into the default pattern of simply reacting to the unconscious flow of our thoughts and emotions.
It has been well established that people have a “bias blind spot,” meaning that they are less likely to detect bias in themselves than others. However, it hasn’t been clear how blind we are to our own actual degree of bias, and how many of us think we are less biased than others.
Disgust is a universal emotion – we all get disgusted by things, just as we all experience other “basic” emotions, such as happiness and sadness. Disgust has many functions. It protects us from products that might cause us harm (food that has gone off), it can give us a moral compass (when we see someone being treated unfairly) and it keeps us away from things that remind us of our animal nature (dead bodies).
Have you ever been lied to or betrayed by someone you loved and trusted? Has anyone not believed you when you were telling the truth? Has anyone you loved walked away from the relationship and refused to try to work out the differences? Everyone has been hurt by someone else. How do we get rid of the hurt and move on with our lives. How can we forgive?
Thousands of case studies proved beyond any reasonable doubt that cancer can be cured by a change in one’s thinking! In the patients who were able to resolve the conflict through recognizing their innocence and mistaken self-blame and guilt, not only did the pattern in the scan resolve itself (disappear), but so did the cancer.
Imagine for a moment all the things you say or don’t say, and all the things you do or don’t do in one day because of what others might say about you. If you wrote out a list, it might take a long time. Do you realize how much power you give to other people’s opinions? What if you could recover that power?
I know some remarkable people, even some who are considered great human beings, but I have never known anyone whose heart is open all the time. Even the Dalai Lama speaks of anger arising and of saying things that, much to his chagrin, can never be taken back. Forgiveness of oneself and others is...
Echemos un vistazo a el sistema de recompensa y castigo, ya que se practica entre los seres humanos. Nosotros premiamos a nosotros mismos oa otras personas cuando juzgamos que una acción es "buena". Nos castigar a los demás oa nosotros mismos por algo "malo". Pero, ¿quién lleva la voz cantante en esto? ¿Quién es la persona calificada para juzgar?
Generally, people consider life to be a natural phenomenon in which one profits without giving anything in exchange. But the miracle requires an exchange: what we were given, we must share with others. If we are not united, we cannot grasp the miracle.
Every day, we are confronted with choices about how to spend our money. Whether it’s thinking about picking up the tab at a group lunch or when a charity calls asking for a donation, we are faced with the decision to behave generously or not.
You might think that people know you are grateful, so you don’t have to share it. But remember that expressing your gratitude is a special gift for you as well. I feel very far from perfect in remembering to say thank you, and yet it has become something that is very important to me...
Holding the hummingbird was a gift. It was an awesome privilege to be given thirty unforgettable minutes when time stood still and I held the most exquisite creature in my hands, felt its warmth, and marveled at its magnificence.
La semana pasada Toby Porter, director ejecutivo de la ONG HelpAge, fue a Nepal para reunirse con las personas que se recuperan de los terremotos que han devastado el país. Les pidió una pregunta interesante: ¿prefieres que te comprar las cosas que necesita, o prefieres que acabamos de darle el dinero?
There are two different types of acknowledgment. There are compliments which are more superficial and then there are deeper appreciations that involve your character and inner qualities. How do you handle acknowledgment from others?
Feeling deep gratitude is wonderfully addictive; the more we do it, the more we querer to do it, and so we begin looking even more deeply to reflect on things for which we’re grateful. I first learned about the amazing power of gratitude during a time when my financial situation was quite bleak...
Despite what Madison Avenue would like us to believe, that vacation to the Riviera, that Chrysler PT Cruiser, that anti-aging cream is not the secret to happiness. There's only one thing that unlocks the door to true peace of mind. Serving a purpose bigger than...
When we recognize the impact we have, purely by being responsible for our state of mind – and how that affects the electromagnetic field that surrounds us, we realize that every moment sets in motion an incremental modification of such import that its trajectory could create a global shift in consciousness.
Many people still operate with an inner belief that if they try harder to be better — the best, perfect — then everything will be so much better in all areas of their lives. So they take a vow: “I have to be perfect and will be critical of myself until I am.”
For the majority of people if they turned on a radio and the station was negative and critical, fearful, whining, or complaining they would turn it off. Most people would take control of the situation and choose something that would be more enjoyable and more productive. You may wish to take some time to tune in and really become aware of the background station that you are tuned into...
In my daily work as a therapist/coach I've discovered there is one thing that we all have in common. We are all, everyone including me, so amazingly unkind and hard on ourselves. The truth is, I have never met anyone who is not super critical of themselves and who doesn't have unrealistic expectations when it comes to being a so-called "perfect" human being.
It was Voltaire who said: “perfect is the enemy of the good” – and he should know. A strident critic of existential perfection, Voltaire spent much of his working life attacking the notion of a world imbued by flawless divinity.
Purplewashingis a term I have coined to describe the tendency people have to gloss over, repress, or deny uncomfortable emotions, usually by “spiritualizing” the situation or by “being nice” about it. I call it purplewashing because it is similar to...
Often, we just can’t forgive. Although we may want to completely let it go, the debate in our minds and the emotion tied to the event are too strong, especially when the offense has occurred repeatedly over a long period of time. Our insistence on the arguments that support our position become...
Como hombres, tenemos la oportunidad de tratar de conocer a nosotros mismos y, por lo tanto, para llevar ricos recursos de amor, el respeto, la sabiduría y la compasión a todos dentro de nuestros círculos sagrados. Este no es el "final de los hombres", pero el comienzo de la edad adulta redefinido.
Una de las cosas más importantes que una persona pueda tener durante cualquier enfermedad está dedicado, cariñoso apoyo. Sólo el sentido de la atención por sí sola que se despertó cuando las personas se reúnen en un espectáculo unificado de amor es una poderosa declaración. Las redes de apoyo también sirven para ...
Preguntando si existen diferencias sexuales en el cerebro humano es un poco como preguntar si el café es bueno para usted - no pueden parecerse a los científicos a formarse una opinión acerca de la respuesta. En 2013, por ejemplo, noticias proclamaron diferencias en el cerebro tan dramático que los hombres y las mujeres "casi podrían ser especies separadas." Luego, en 2015, titulares anunciaron que hay ...
sitios de citas en línea y aplicaciones están transformando las relaciones. Más de 10 por ciento de los adultos estadounidenses - y casi 40 ciento de las personas que se identifican como "única y mirando" - están utilizando sitios web de citas en línea y aplicaciones.
Nuestras relaciones con los demás - ya sea casual o íntimo - nos proporcionan una constante espejo, la verdad de nosotros mismos. Si ha creado generalmente amante, relaciones de apoyo, dar un poco de aprecio, para usted son, evidentemente, ser cariñoso y de apoyo a sí mismo. Si ha creado relaciones difíciles ...
One of the beliefs our society holds most dear is that relationships are complicated. Not just romantic relationships, either — todo relationships are fraught with intractable complexities. Watch any movie, read any novel, and you’ll begin to believe that even the best relationships are balancing on the edge...
We were trained to believe that we are empty or broken, and if we can just get someone to give us what we are missing, we would be happy. Then we must control our supposed source of good so that person will keep doing the things that make us feel loved.
While we "know" patience is important, it remains one of life's greatest lessons. In our modern society of instant gratification, it sometimes seems that patience is a forgotten commodity. It is somewhat like the joke that goes "God grant me patience, and give it to me right away.".
Most people spontaneously look for solutions that meet everyone’s needs. We want to please the people we love and want to please ourselves. It’s when we get stuck that we start to look for a compromise or think someone has to sacrifice.
Many humans are using their business as a way to avoid an intimate relationship with their hearts and to somehow bypass having loving relationships with others. The mind plays a big role in this roller coaster game of keeping you in complexity, in a whirlwind of activity and mental jabber. So it is your choice to come out of feeling like a victim of your societies, systems, and businesses.
Demographers frequently remind us that the United States is a rapidly aging country. From 2010 to 2040, we expect that the age-65-and-over population will more than double in size, from about 40 to 82 million.
I never remember being held when I would cry. I was always sent to my room. It was incredibly lonely to be crying alone. I felt as if no one understood me and I had the horrible feeling that there must be something very wrong with me.
My family and my community are just as much “me” as the organs of my body. My body and mind, my family and my community, are interacting and interpenetrating—variously prevalent elements in the network of relations that encompasses all things in nature and the human world.
Couples often trade responsibility for their Inner Children. They project their disowned feelings on each other and riddle the relationship with unrealistic expectations and displaced anger. When you unwittingly hand your deepest longings over to your partner, you abandon your Inner Child all over again.
A menudo se cree que las estructuras sociales jerárquicas y, a veces opresivos como el patriarcado son de alguna manera natural, - un reflejo de la ley de la selva. Pero la estructura social de los cazadores-recolectores de hoy sugiere que nuestros antepasados eran de hecho altamente igualitaria, incluso cuando se trataba de género. Su secreto? No viven con muchos parientes.
All good communication boils down to following four simple rules. Abiding by them, anyone can communicate about any topic effectively and lovingly. There are also four opposing violations that create the misunderstandings and ensuing hurt, alienation and confusion that we experience when communicating with others.
How much more meaningful would our moments with loved ones be if we treated them as if this might be our last time together? We would not squabble over petty issues. We would remember what’s important. Un Curso de Milagros tells us that the world we see is inside out and upside down.
We can probably all relate to the experience of feeling divided within ourselves, occasionally against ourselves, and love will certainly induce this as handily as any of life’s experiences. A little-known fact about Cupid may help explain this. He is said to have carried in his quiver dos kinds of arrows, one struck you with love, the other with hate.
Do you take the people you love for granted? Do you just assume they will always be there? Do you tell them often enough that you love and care about them, or do you feel there is no need as they probably already know?
A new study finds quantitative evidence of love—something very few economic studies have ever claimed. The researchers asked married couples two penetrating questions about the quality of their marriage, and combined those responses with the couples’ divorce rates six years later.
La violencia doméstica es ahora a la intemperie, pero las cifras muestran hasta qué punto él es endémica
La violencia doméstica es física, emocional, psicológica y socialmente devastadora para las mujeres y puede tener efectos igualmente devastadores sobre sus bebés y niños. los destacados del Ministerio del Interior mientras que la violencia doméstica puede ser dirigido a los hombres por las mujeres y puede ocurrir en relaciones del mismo sexo, la mayoría inequívoca de la violencia doméstica (más de 77%) se ha comprometido por los hombres contra las mujeres.
El reciente informe del norte de la provincia de Hoa Binh en Vietnam de gemelos nacidos de dos padres diferentes ha sido objeto de titulares en todo el mundo. El padre de los gemelos tomó los bebés para las pruebas de ADN, donde se reveló que él era el padre biológico de sólo uno de ellos - el otro gemelo fue engendrado por otro hombre.
La empatía, la capacidad de comprender a los demás y sentir compasión por ellos, es sin duda la calidad humana más definitorio - nos diferencia de las máquinas inteligentes e incluso otros animales. Sin ella, no podríamos funcionar en áreas sociales tales como las escuelas, las salas de los tribunales y centros de trabajo de oficina que son los pilares de nuestra sociedad.
"Existe la creencia de que los niños pequeños pueden autorregular su ingesta de alimentos," dice Barbara Rolls. "Este estudio muestra esas señales son muy fáciles de reemplazar."
En caso de que un profesor recompensar a una clase entera de las buenas acciones de un estudiante? ¿Qué pasa con la otra cara de la moneda la disciplina: si una clase entera ser castigado por las malas acciones de unos pocos estudiantes?
Por lo general pensamos en la escritura como algo que está fuera del alcance de los niños en edad preescolar. Después de todo, los niños pequeños no pueden escribir letras reconocibles, y no pueden escribir las palabras.
Los padres a menudo son culpables de ayudar a su hijo un poco demasiado con su tarea. A veces la batalla tarea se puede hacer un poco más fácil si sólo dice a su hijo qué hacer, o simplemente lo haga por ellos. Al menos se ha hecho, usted piensa.
Grandes cantidades de datos personales, académicos y de comportamiento sobre los niños están siendo recogidos, procesados y utilizados por las escuelas, autoridades locales, y el gobierno cada año.
Si usted quiere que su niño sea un peso saludable es posible controlar el tamaño de las porciones o la frecuencia de sus comidas y meriendas. Por supuesto, se puede utilizar tanto de estas estrategias, pero un estudio publicado recientemente hemos descubierto que una estrategia es probable que sea mucho más eficaz que el otro dependiendo de los rasgos en los apetitos individuales de los niños.
Children come in all shapes and sizes, but not with a manual. Childhood achievements such as walking and talking are often celebrated signs that things are going well in a child’s life. However, once these achievements start being compared between children (at the park, on Facebook) they can become the cause of anxiety.
Until the last decade, many young people with a life-limiting or life-threatening condition were not expected to live into adulthood. Now improvements in medicine and technology have changed all that for children with conditions such as duchenne muscular or spinal muscular atrophy which cause serious degeneration of muscles and nerves, or genetic disorders, such as cystic fibrosis.
The Collins English Dictionary unveiled a thoroughly modern concept as its word of the year for 2015: binge watching. It usually refers to consuming endless hours of movies or series on Netflix, one after the other. But binge watching is about the more fundamental issue of the world’s obsession with content consumption.
La influencia de la pobreza de los estudiantes en el aprendizaje del estudiante es indiscutible. Los estudios internacionales demuestran que en todos los países, los niños procedentes de entornos desfavorecidos son mucho menos propensos a sobresalir en la escuela que sus compañeros más afortunados.
Sixteen years after they published their formal recommendations discouraging any form of screen time before age two – and 14 years after making recommendations to limit screen time for older children to no more than two hours per day – they are now recanting those recommendations, calling them “outdated.”
Disciplining works if it is not over the top and children understand the point of it. Highlights magazine’s annual State of Kids survey found that a majority of children appreciated being disciplined and believed that it helped them behave better.
A common view is that students learn maths best when teachers give clear explanations of mathematical concepts, usually in isolation from other concepts, and students are then given opportunities to practise what they have been shown.
In a study titled “Stress in America,” commissioned by the American Psychological Association, it was found that 30 percent of teens reported feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or sad as a result of stress. Almost 25 percent said they skipped meals because of stress. Almost one-third of teens say that stress often brings them to the verge of tears...
By the time they are teenagers, more than two-thirds of young people are not doing enough physical activity. Teenagers spend an average of eight hours every day sitting, with 11 to 15-year-olds watching nearly three hours of television.
A stagnant nation, despairing over the death of education . . . by the Great Cat, why? Have we not learned that school kills? The nation ought to be raving joyful for the death of its failed system of diplomas and degrees, raving delighted at the greening of this grand new culture, the Passionate Self-Educated.
Recent research suggests success is partly driven by character skills. “Grit,” for example, or perseverance and passion for long-term goals, seems to be a better predictor of success than IQ in school and beyond.
"Puntos de vista racistas y anti-inmigración en poder de los niños", advirtió un titular reciente en The Guardian, informar sobre los resultados de una encuesta de casi 6,000 escolares británicos llevados a cabo por la organización benéfica Mostrar tarjeta roja al racismo.
A colleague related the following story: while running errands with her 11- and 7-year-old daughters, a back seat battle began to rage. My colleague’s attempts to diffuse the situation only led to a shouting match about who was to blame for the skirmish. Finally the 11-year-old proclaimed to her sister, “You started it the day you were born and took away Mom’s love!”
A couple of years ago, I taught an afterschool class at a Seattle nonprofit, the Technology Access Foundation (TAF), which provides STEM education (science, technology, engineering, math) to children from less-privileged backgrounds. My students were 8-11 years old, and it was the first time that I had taught elementary school students.
A new study is the first in more than 20 years to look at long-term outcomes after early intensive autism intervention. Therapy began when children were 18 to 30 months old and involved therapists and parents working with children at home for more than 15 hours each week for two years.
Some parents think it’s their job to make their children happy and to think for them – but this is not true. It’s not the parents’ job to think for their children or to make them happy. It’s impossible for one human being to think for another human being or to make another human being happy.
In March 2015, San Francisco 49ers linebacker Chris Borland shocked football fans when he announced his decision to retire after just one season in the NFL. He explained that he was concerned over the long-term health hazards of football-related head trauma, and journalists and media personalities covered the story extensively.
On asking six-year-olds why water flows down a mountain, one of the responses I received was, “because then we don’t have to walk up the mountain to get it”. Children of this age often conceptualise the world’s physical attributes as being divined for the service of humans, or even just for them.
At the end of the school year, districts often send stacks of books home with their students in the hopes of combating the “summer slide” in reading skills. This type of literacy loss hits low-income students particularly hard.
Hemos oído historias sobre el engaño: académica de los estudiantes capturados en trampas en sus tareas, así como pruebas de acceso a la universidad para los profesores de ser atrapados en escándalos de trampas, como los que hay en Atlanta, Georgia, y Columbus, Ohio.
Research has shown that children of poorer parents display substantially worse math and reading skills by the time they start grade school. Other studies have revealed that these wide gaps in pre-school skills persist into adulthood and help explain low educational attainment and lifetime earnings.
When we think of reading for our children, we are often misled into thinking that we need to focus on one type of book, such as picture books or novels in order to practise specific, reading-related skills. However, this narrowly-focused approach to reading instruction can often have undesirable benefits, such as turning kids off reading altogether.
Narcissistic children feel superior to others, believe they are entitled to privileges and crave admiration from others. When they don’t get the admiration they want, they may lash out aggressively. Why do some children become narcissistic, whereas others develop more modest views of themselves?
A lot of previous investigación has suggested that young people living in single-mother households are at an educational disadvantage. But our new study looking at the lives of 10,000 teenagers suggests that this is not true. A stable family, even if it is a lone-parent one, is the best place to grow up.
Many parents are moving towards “gentle parenting”, where they choose not to use rewards (sticker charts, lollies, chocolates, TV time as “bribes”) and punishments (taking away “privileges”, time-out, smacking) to encourage good behaviour, but encourage good behaviour for the sake of doing the right thing.
Los medicamentos antipsicóticos, como Risperdal, Seroquel y Abilify, se han desarrollado para el tratamiento de adultos con enfermedades mentales graves como la esquizofrenia y el trastorno bipolar. Pero en los últimos años, su uso se ha extendido para el tratamiento de condiciones como el autismo y el trastorno por déficit de atención / hiperactividad (TDAH) en niños y adolescentes.
Children learn to lie from about the age of two. The first lies children learn to tell are denials of wrongdoing. From the age of three they also learn to tell “white” lies. But what can we do to encourage children to tell the truth?
Why does a four-year-old play when a 14-year-old creates? It’s often argued that play is central to the lives of young children. Yet the play of older children and adults is often seen as leisure, escapism or even deviance. But there should not be such a binary division between what is educational and what is frivolous.
As a family therapist, I often have the impulse to tell families to go home and have dinner together rather than spending an hour with me. And 20 years of research in North America, Europe and Australia back up my enthusiasm for family dinners. It turns out that sitting down for a nightly meal is great for the brain, the body and the spirit.
I can remember like yesterday sitting at the dinner table as a child with my parents and siblings and feeling like the world was going to end. My parents would openly discuss current events. I thought to myself what will be in this world? How will I be safe? What can the future look like when these terrible things are happening all the time?
A new study finds a link between a good night’s sleep for school-aged kids and better performance in math and languages specifically—subjects that are powerful predictors of later learning and academic success.
Indigos process their emotions differently than non Indigos because they have high self-esteem and strong integrity. They can read you like an open book and quickly notice and neutralize any hidden agendas or attempts to manipulate them, however subtly.
Teenagers' opinions about when violence is acceptable or not can be influenced by the way they perceive men and women and the relationships between them. Simply telling young people that violence is wrong won’t stop it happening.
To examine a person’s difficulties is to enter into the psychological atmosphere of his or her family. We are marked by their characteristics, but also by their insane ideas, their negative feelings, their inhibited desires, and their destructive acts. All problems have their roots in the family tree.
No es raro escuchar a las personas que desean que tenían una mejor memoria. "Si yo no estuviera tan olvidadizos", se quejan. "Si tan sólo pudiera recordar de forma fiable la contraseña del ordenador, y que el nombre de mi vecino es Sarah, no Sandra." Si esto suena familiar, entonces yo sé cómo se siente.
La renovación está bien descrito por el novelista y poeta beat Jack Kerouac en su línea, "Vi que mi vida era un gran brillante página en blanco y yo podía hacer lo que quisiera." Después de una transición sin problemas, trae un sentido de renovación gradual de la estabilidad y la seguridad después de una época de cambios rápidos. A medida que avanzamos hacia nuestros sueños ...
Feliz febrero! Es el mes del amor! ¿Qué (seamos honestos aquí) puede significar o estás sintiendo o no lo eres. No hay en el medio cuando estamos hablando sobre el Día de San Valentín, estoy en lo cierto?
When the six-year-old showed his drawing to the grownups in his life, instead of seeing a boa constrictor digesting an elephant, they thought it was a drawing of a hat. Whenever he showed it to adults, he received the same response. The youngster concluded that none of the grownups had any imagination at all!
As you experience being an earth angel, you will discover that the path of service is riddled with deep feelings. We are in service at all times, and we need to set an example to other earth angels. If you are living with dysfunction, and your life is not in balance, you need to seek out a teacher and heal within. We cannot serve others when we are ourselves are out of balance.
Core values are the things in our lives that we live from that are nonnegotiable. They are at the heart of who we are, and they need to resonate with our heart’s energy. If they don’t, they are not our values but belong to someone else.
What makes you break your diet, or run up your credit card, or be attracted to all the wrong people? Each of us has self-sabotaging tendencies, the origins of which elude us. Be confused no longer! I’m here to tell you that these behaviors are attributable to a part of your personality that perhaps you didn’t even know you had: your Outer Child.
Our biographies are truly ours to play with, and it is our responsibility to take care with how we do this. If, for instance, you tell yourself an old story that revolves around the notion that no matter what you do, “that’s just the way it is,” and the ending will always be the same, the universe will eventually show you exactly that.
In my years of working with clients and their karmic history, I have chosen to take the meaning of karma out of the duality, that is, the belief that doing good brings good things, doing bad brings bad things. Instead, I use a deeper spiritual meaning of karma—its role as the unresolved emotional wounds...
A website or any new profession, relationship, or step ahead in life is an excellent projective test for where your consciousness lives at the moment. Since life is more about what’s going on dentro de you rather than what’s going on outside, the best use of outside is to shine light on the inside, so you can progress in your soul’s journey.
En una entrevista en The Oprah Winfrey Show, Jane Fonda revealed that it wasn’t until after she turned sixty that she realized one of life’s most important secrets: She had to give up her incessant desire to be perfect so that she could begin to experience herself as whole.
I act the same no matter what role I am in—facilitator, woman, mother, or teacher. Every single person that I come in contact with in this world deserves all of me—not part of me, but every molecule.
We all carry some degree of self-blame, ways we accuse or condemn ourselves. Often these feelings come from our childhood, where we were blamed for mistakes we made. It’s sad how other people’s blame of us can turn into our blame of ourselves, which then often becomes our secret shame, and can keep us from the happiness we want...
New research suggests that focusing on the “silver linings” of our negative traits can lead to positive results. Researchers call the finding a “silver lining” theory.
Hace algún tiempo, me encontré sola vez (shock, horror!) y decidí volver al mundo de las citas. Una cosa que me llamó la atención desde muy temprano en mis incursiones era que todo el mundo tenía una opinión acerca de "lo que funciona" en términos de citas.
Las relaciones a menudo se interpretan como el resultado de un intercambio de bienes y servicios. El conocimiento común dice que los sexos quieren cosas diferentes de un socio.
¿Alguna vez ha pensado que había un aire de familia extraña entre su amigo y su pareja? O se preguntó por un instante si el par caminando por la carretera eran marido y mujer, o hermano y hermana? Es posible que no imaginando cosas. Animales de muchas especies "aprender" lo que una adecuada
Este Día de San Valentín, una vez más ver a una celebración del amor. Por desgracia para muchas personas con problemas de aprendizaje, esto es sólo un sueño.
El dinero no podría comprar el amor, pero de acuerdo con algunos estudios en psicología y el comportamiento de los consumidores, cómo lo gasta podría revelar una cosa o dos acerca de sus intenciones románticas. Estos estudios demuestran que sólo de pensar en el cumplimiento de una nueva pareja de hecho puede afectar nuestras decisiones de compra de manera sorprendente - que afecta a hombres y mujeres de manera diferente.
En las culturas occidentales, marcamos el comienzo de enredo romántica tocando los labios. Pocas acciones son tan cargada de ansiedad y el simbolismo como el primer beso y no es exagerado decir que algunos besos se sienten como la vida o la muerte.
At the beginning of a romantic relationship, passion is not in short supply. The thrills of learning all about your beloved, sharing new experiences, and having plenty of sex, create an exhilarating state of desire and romantic love. In fact, a number of scientific studies have shown that this kind of love
“Selfie” is not just word of the year, but also the mainstay of postings on social media sites such as Instagram. With the prevalence of camera-equipped smartphones the posting of selfies has reached epidemic levels – even the funerals of national leaders aren’t exempt. But is there a psychological fall-out?
A friend once grumbled that, given the choice, she’d rather see her ex miserable than herself happy. Few things in life are as traumatic as the end of a long-term, romantic relationship. Nonetheless, many people are able to eventually recover and move on relatively unscathed.
Even though your marriage ends in a literal sense when you lose your spouse, the effects of who the person was still seems to matter even after they're gone